I have been privy to the wonders of outhouse technology lately. I feel after encountering numerous outhouses at baseball tournaments, the Creation Festival, and this gem of an outhouse at the track I jog at, I am now a CEO ( Confirmed Expert on Outhouses). I remember back in the day when outhouses consisted of a big black hole and something that looked similar to a toilet seat on top of the black hole. And as you emerged from the outhouse you felt the sudden urge to throw up.
But for you who are not CEO’s, let me update you on the latest and greatest outhouse technology. First, they have cute names, here are two I have encountered, “Pot of Gold”, and “Santi Shanty.” Also some have hand gel dispensers, a little mirror on the door ( so you can see how hot and sweaty you look while squatting over the hole filled with blue goo), and a small shelf to put cell phones, water bottles and other items that you dare to actually take into a port-a-potty. Also some, actually have these nice air fresheners inside of them, I know the infamous “Pot-of-Gold actually smelled pretty good.
So I would like to take this moment to thank all those experts in the area of outhouse technology for all their hard work. I would like to encourage you to keep working on making outhouses a better place. Just a few suggestions for your port-a-pot tehcies,
#1 Pump air conditioning into your little Santi-Shanty
#2 Make sure the cute hand gel thing is always full.
#3 Have an endless supply of TP so I don’t have use some tissue found on the bottom of my purse.
#4 Fill it with more blue goo and make it much darker so you don’t have to see what everyone else has left behind.
#5 Some music, free ice water and a candy machine would also be nice touches.
#6 Do away with the blue color, how about pink? Then the men will never use it, they can pee in the woods, and women can have their own outhouses!
Also for all you outhouse guru’s who are reading this I am wondering what ever happened to the cell phone, and nice sunglasses I saw in the blue goo? Do you keep those things?????
Well congratulations if you made it this far in this post, now go grab some hand gel or wash your hands really well you will feel much better.
Jesus and Dark Chocolate 
You are not right!! 🙂 Too funny!
LOL. I hate outhouses! And the portable ones aren’t much better, but you gotta do, what you gotta do! LOL. Some around here have portable sinks outside so you can actually wash with soap and running water. NIce touch.
Oh Sandy, you make me laugh. And gag at the same time! Shooeee, those things are nasty, aren’t they? I still like the blue color, but pink for girls and blue for boys is a great idea!
Thankfully, I haven’t had to use one of these in years! I hope it stays that way!
Thanks for the laugh today!
You are too much!! Thanks for the before bedtime laugh!!! BTW, I hold my breath the entire time while inside a port-a-potty. Yuck!!!!
LOVE #6!!!
Just a little information…I used to work with my husband on construction sites, and they are truly nasty there!! And they are called Jiffy John’s on construction sites!! And the smell is something that could knock you out!!! I have no idea what those men would eat, and I had had enough of it (after the first time, mind you), that I used to go to the local store to go to the bathroom.
Blessings,
Ronnie
Oh that cracked me up. I thought I had put you on my reader and all of a sudden I realized I hadn’t read you in a bit. Glad I came back!
I won’t mention the patient I had once and the major surgery he had to have following using one of these. Don’t EVER sit down. (It involved a brown recluse spider.)
Ohhhhh, that was good. I am actually researching outhouse technology and ideas. Getting through the ice storm here in north-central Arkansas, being without running water for a week now and 2-3 more weeks without, an outhouse looks and sounds like heaven! It would beat the system I have in place now… which I won’t go into. Leaving my home in the woods and going to town every time I need to … well… you know… do my business… isn’t an option.
Thanx for the humor,
Spidr