I don’t know……….

I thought to myself today that I should update my blog since it’s been awhile…………… our days have been filled with these 2 sports.

But aside from being consumed with sports, I have just been feeling pretty “I don’t knowish.” 

I know you are probably thinking wow, Sandy is so profound and expresses herself so eloquently!

But I just don’t know what to think…………

I don’t know about the future or what it holds for us

I don’t know how long it will be until Curt will get worse

I don’t know if I have any more patience left with in me on certain days

I don’t know what to make for dinner

I don’t know how to fix Alzheimer’s and just make it all better

I don’t know how to encourage Curt on some days

I don’t know how to file taxes

I don’t know how to use a chain saw to cut up the tree that fell in our woods

I don’t know how to stop feeling so overwhelmed some days

I don’t know how to plan for the future

I don’t know…….I don’t know what to think about even next year….how much different will it be

I don’t know if Aricept is really working

I don’t know if I am doing the right thing with all of our legal paperwork

I don’t know how to throw a lax ball with a lax stick

I don’t know how to start the whole recruiting process for Tyler for baseball

I don’t know how to encourage my kids on how to walk this journey

I don’t know if I can smile and answer for the 5th or 6th time as to who the game is against today.

BUT… I do KNOW this

I know who holds my unknown future.

Matthew 6:34 reminds me…….

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,

for tomorrow will worry about itself.

Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Ecclesiastes 7:14

14 When times are good, be happy;
but when times are bad, consider this:
God has made the one
as well as the other.

Matthew 28:20

Surely, I am with you always!

The Lord IS my shepherd ~ Psalm 23:1

Hudson Taylor once wrote

“~Not was, not may be, not will be, THE LORD IS my shepherd.  He is on Sunday, He is on Monday and through every day of the week.  He is in January, in December ( and during the busy spring sports season), and every month of the year.  He is when I am at home and in China. He is during peace or war and in times of abundance or poverty~”

Yes, I do KNOW something after all…………:)


  1. Today I needed to remind myself of this…

    When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
    When sorrows like sea billows roll;
    Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
    It is well, it is well, with my soul.

  2. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

  3. That is a fabulous reminder! Chelsea is struggling with her anorexia and her blood pressure is too low….there is a lot left unknown here too but your words of encouragement were just the lift I needed. thank you.

    Praying that God reveals answers to you as the time is right.

    Becky K.

  4. Oh Sandy, I needed this. I’ve been reminding myself of this so many times lately as I try to figure out the next step with my sister. Such a fine line between “do not worry about tomorrow” and planning for the future.

    A song that has really ministered to me lately is Laura Story’s Blessings. Here is the chorus and the final tag.

    What if your blessings fall like raindrops
    What if Your healing comes through tears
    What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
    What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

    What if my greatest disappointments
    Or the aching of this life
    Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
    What if trials of this life
    The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
    Are your mercies in disguise

    Hugs to you.

  5. huge hugs going out to you over this internet thingy…..and i love the words from John 14 “peace I leave with you, My peace I give you; not as the world gives do I give you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid….” i love the words the Lord put on your heart. Praying still…..

  6. I love your honesty and openness on your journey, my friend. There are so many things that we don’t know…can’t comprehend at this point. The “why’s” are just too big. Yet, you are right, that you can know how much the Lord loves you and your family. He has promised you a hope–and a future. Amen.

  7. Amen! Moment by moment, that’s how we should live. We aren’t even promised tomorrow so let’s not borrow it’s troubles or what we don’t know about it!

  8. I stumbled on to your blog a while back… praying for you and your family as you journey through. I agree with the above post – you know all you need to.

  9. This was a great post for me today. I was wallowing in self pity today thinking “what if the military discharges him, what will we do then?”… and remembered seeing you had written a new post. I decided to read it, and was blown away at how appropriate it was.

    What I do know, is that you know better than me. Thank you for giving me something to know as well. ❤

    Always thinking about you! Love you all.

  10. I’ve been thinking about and praying for you a lot recently. I regularly spend time with a YOUNG woman who has ALS. Again, a rare medical situation. I listen to her concerns, think of your concerns, pray for you all. I have no answers for her or you. But I’ve pledged to walk with her through her journey and, even though I’m not with you physically, I’ll walk with you also through prayer. I’m so glad we have God to walk with us through this life and that we have the promise of life with Him after we deal with this life.

  11. So encouraging, Sam! I wish I could take care of all the little details for you – the tree, the paperwork, the cooking… I am praying for you all right now. God will NEVER leave you or forsake you. I love you.

  12. I’m sorry … so many unknowns. At times, they suck! Sorry there is no other way to say it. Our journeys are different, but I’ve dealt with other unknowns … and sometimes admitting what reality is … was the best thing I could do.

    Hoping you find some moments of beauty in the middle of the unknowns thrown your way.

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