Oct 1st a year ago was when I first heard those dreadful words, “Curt has dementia, most likely Early Onset Alzheimer’s.”
I had known in my heart for some time that something was wrong with my dear husband, I had basically come to the conclusion on my own that he had Alzheimer’s. But when the doctor took my intuition and made it a reality….the words hit hard. I cried most of the way home from the doctor’s office, overwhelmed for our now unknown, unplanned and unpredictable future.
We hadn’t really formulated a plan on how to tell Tyler and Madi. They knew we had gone to a doctor to get results for the 5 hour memory testing Curt had endured. They saw my tear stained face and immediately wanted to know what was going on. We sat down with them and the words pretty much just spilled out. So unplanned……so unlike me. We cried a bit, we prayed a lot and I ended up sleeping with Madi in her room for about a week as she worked through the emotions of now having a dad with Alzheimer’s.
But with in the week we were doing normal things again….we had to. Curt was being a “cheerleader” for a student on Daddy/Daughter night since her dad couldn’t be there. Tyler was finishing baseball season and gearing up for basketball season and Madi had a big cross country meet. We are a busy family with two busy teens. We are just now a busy family with Alzheimer’s thrown into the mix.
Life goes on.
And just as it is with this post. I actually started writing it 2 weeks ago. But life got really hectic and busy. Included in that was a long 8-10 hour drive to North Carolina for a weekend baseball tournament where I looked at too much of this;
Life goes on
I reflect and remember.
For weeks after Curt was diagnosed I constantly pondered and thought back over the last several years.
Yes, there were lots of signs, foreshadowing of what was to come. In hindsight there were so many indications of a storm brewing in Curt’s brain. The time he couldn’t put a simple swing together 3 years ago, or the trouble he had putting our tent up when we went camping in 2009, the sudden loss of interest in his hiking passion, the late payment charges on bills, his apathy. It all made sense now.
But…Life goes on
But Life goes on with such a different perspective now.
The little acts of kindness to our family mean so much and are never overlooked. Some random sweetheart of a person sticks a delicious box Wilbur Buds in my school mailbox every once in awhile. Such a little thing, but a big thing to me!
Family and their supports means the world to us!
Friends and even strangers who care for us, pray for us and help out. While I was away in North Carolina last weekend a group of men from a local church came to cut down a huge, dead tree near our house. I came home amazed to find a huge, empty gap where the tree once stood. We were surprised and blessed to see the SHAPE of the stump that was left behind. This stump will long serve as a reminder of the LOVE of Christ shown by this group of men.
Yes life goes on for all of us. But we now carry a different perspective on this journey. We are blessed in many ways by so many of you. But most of all we have a greater understanding of the depth and power of the LOVE of Christ. His care for us, His provision.
We are changed, Yes Life goes on…..but we walk it differently so much more aware of the presence of Christ which reveals many of His presents.
‘So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10
Yes we are changed! Thank you dear friends for your prayers and love for our family!
Life goes on and we are not dismayed, shaken some, but not dismayed. God’s strength is what sustains us!
Jesus and Dark Chocolate 
Hey Sandy! 🙂 So appreciate your honestly and your reflections on this journey. Ironic that I realized after sending that devotional thought to you this morning that I’d realized that I’d inadvertently left off the verse and it was Isaiah 41:10 (surprise!).
Praying for you to continue to see God going before you and behind you and so glad you have a ‘stump’ so close by to remind you of His love for your family! ❤
A whole year already! WOW! I can hardly believe it.
Speaking of LOVE, did you notice the shape of that tree stump? I think that that is a prophesy of things to come. As Sylvia above says, you have that stump to remind you of God’s love for you and your family. I love you all!
LOVE!! and in a tree stump shape…SOOOOO AWESOME! Love that sign from God for you!! You are still thot of and prayed for. I am busy now too because i’m TA in primary special ed ALL DAY….didn’t really wanna lose my free afternoons but…it’s a long story…don’t know if you were on FB in beginning of school year to read all my angst about my classroom changing…at any rate…i’m now 8-3 rather than 8-12:30 and am busy! still leading 2 ministries at church too but i think i’m gonna try to convince another friend to take over moms in touch prayer group for me…it’s only once a month but i need to concentrate on the small group leading. Anyways….good to read this and wow…a whole year already….still praying as is my small group!!! someday we will all meet…….hugs to you
Yes, life does have a way of going on. What a blessing to have friends and family who step in and help where needed! And countless more who lift you and your family up in prayer. 🙂
Hugs
A year? Really? I remember you talking about needing to clean out Curt’s desk…brought me to tears! Sandy…you are amazing and I know when you read this you will be shaking your head…but your continuous belief in our Lord is amazing! The tree stump is so cool… you should preserve it in some way….
Sandy, you and your family are such an inspiration and witness to the grace and mercy of our Lord. What would life be like without His Stength?
What a blessing that you live each day more aware of His presence now. Wow. So glad you commented and drew me here. We’ve missed you in the FFF family. Hope you have time to participate again.
The tree stump’s shape — wow, what confirmation. And I scrolled down to see the family pics, which were priceless. Blessings on all of you!
Oh wow! What beautiful words. God uses the hardest times to teach us the greatest lessons. Thank you for that reminder. And thank you for the reminder that it is His strength. That is a lesson He is teaching me these days. Blessings to you my friend! Thank you for sharing this journey with us!
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XO
Hi Sandy, I just found your blog by reading a comment you left on another early onset Alzheimer’s blog. I started my blog a few months ago, and since then have discovered so many people going through this disease. My dad was 46 when he was diagnosed with Familial Early On-Set Alzheimer’s, and I was 13. I am still shocked at times to hear about so many people that are going through what I did, because at the time I felt so alone. I look forward to reading more, and my heart goes out to you and your family as your begin this journey with your husband.
In my prayers from now on.
Love, Sheryl
Hi Sandy, I just found your blog on TheChristianWoman.com blog list. I’m so glad I clicked on your link out of so many. I will be keeping your family in my prayers. Even though disease and disaster have the capacity to steal and destroy, we know that OUR GOD RESTORES AND HEALS! We look forward to the ultimate healing. No more tears, no more pain, in Heaven face to face with Jesus. Oh, what a sweet moment! Keep the certain hope of Heaven before you, and lean into Jesus each day. Prayers, hugs, and blessings!