Well things at our house as of late have gone from bad to worse.
Yep, there, I said it bad to worse….so be prepared this is going to be a discouraging, depressing kind of post. It had to happen, there had to be a kink in our armor of life, and I think I finally found it.
It’s called Alzheimer’s anger and it ain’t pretty! I have seen glimpses of it for a few months now, but I could always reason my way out of Curt’s insulting demise. But this time it was to no avail. It is amazing the assault this disease has on the brain! It slowly steals away your logic and higher order reasoning skills. The worst part is it leaves you thinking you are still the same logical, wise adult you once were!
This past Friday was the start of this unexpected anger assault. By Sat. morning it was rising with a furry. I made the mistake of trying to reason with Curt, which only led to greater frustration on my part and more anger on his part. But somewhere in the midst of my trying to reason this through, he said he was going to call the police on me for assaulting him. It was a sad, yet revealing statement, because it was at that point I realized he had really lost the ability to reason and I needed to change my approach from here on out.
I also realized that Curt will ALWAYS be the WISE, insightful man I married, and the man that was spewing anger, and irrational words at me was the disease speaking to me NOT the man I married!
Things got worse as the weekend went on, and even continued into the school week. I ended up being late for school the one morning because he woke up and was so upset with me about not telling him that there were seven stages to Alzheimer’s and was worried the kids would play their music too loud at the computer despite the fact that we now have headphones for them. He was confused and mad.
But this disease is so unpredictable, we had some great moments in between and things seemed so normal……well as normal as normal can be. 🙂
We have tried to make things a bit calmer at our house, which isn’t always easy if you know our goofy, loud, humorous family….but we are trying. I am praying that will bring a calmer spirit to Curt. But I see this as another step on this dismal journey….I can assure you we are not enjoying it, but I can also assure you that as God does allow such difficult moments, He is there with us through out it. I read somewhere that if God sends us over rocky paths, He will provide us with sturdy shoes.
Well I can assure you I now have some pretty sturdy shoes! 🙂
(Actually they are Tyler’s stinkin, huge, size 14 boots!!)
Thanks for the prayers, emails, and texts this past week friends!