Curt was chatting on the phone the other day with a friend, and I could hear him saying, “Dude, you got to get him on a solid team……….”
And there for a brief moment life seemed really normal. Curt was giving advice to a friend about baseball.
Friends would always call him and seek advice, wisdom, counsel etc on an array of things from sports to finances. But as I am slowly starting to realize, those moments are fleeting, and are fading into the black hole of Alzheimer’s.
In the last 2 months Curt has really struggled and has gone from bad to worse. I am painfully aware of his decline and am working to adjust.
So what have I noticed you may ask?
Overall he did pretty well with all this crazy traveling we had this summer, new hotels and a fast paced schedule were a lot for him to keep up with. He pretty much just followed me around and would conk out each night around 8:00. But the biggest problem came when we returned home after our first tournament in June from Myrtle Beach. Previous to the trip Curt was still doing a few household chores, he would take the trash out and load and unload the dishwasher. But when we returned home after being gone for 5 days those skills were completely lost! He had no clue how to do either one and really had no recollection that he had even done those chores on a regular basis. Along with those tasks went many of the other tasks he had grown accustomed to at home. He really can not check email or use facebook anymore, something he enjoyed up until the Myrtle Beach trip. He is now having great trouble trying to find anything to do at home. He mostly just sits in a chair all day, unless I find him things to do. This is a huge change, he is suddenly VERY DEPENDENT on me for so much these days. Getting himself dressed each day has become a chore along with several other personal hygiene issues. He also stumbles over his words and has great trouble getting out what he wants to say. And this may be one of the most disturbing things yet, as a long time, hard core Phillies Phan he has actually been watching the Pirates play baseball more this summer than the Phillies. Gasp!! 🙂
I knew these things were coming, I guess I just wasn’t prepared for it so quickly and suddenly!
He is also very tired during the day and has been going to bed around 8:00 this summer, which is so weird for my night owl husband.
The spatial issues of life continue to elude him also. Actually the best I can tell his spatial perceptions are totally gone, he can not write at all anymore, even lying down for bed at night he gets confused as to which end of the bed is the right place.
I like so many of you thought Alzheimer’s was just a memory problem, but as you can see it is SO much more then that!
So as summer wanes and turns to fall, I will be searching for someone to provide some kind of companion care for Curt during the day. I don’t feel comfortable with him being home alone the entire day while we are away at school. Who would have thought we would be at this place already?!?!
But I do cling to the fact that somehow God knew we would be, and He will continue to provide for us.
So do pray with us for a sports loving care giver for Curt during the days! 🙂 Ok, well just pray for the right person. 🙂 God has someone I know it. He has met our needs many times through such wonderful people, and I am learning more and more to trust that He will continue to do so. I just need a reminder every now and then about that, mostly in the middle of the night when I wake up worrying. 🙂
Sandy and family- my thoughts and prayers are with you all. Often, when I am teaching my Sunday School class of 5th and6th graders they say, “THAT’S NOT FAIR”. I try to subtly tell them that many things in Life is not FAIR! That we must trust in God to help us understand and accept that things are not always fair. With your situation, this is truly a good time to say, THAT’s NOT FAIR! As you have said we must turn it over to God and trust that he is in control, and that he will be there to support us and carry us through. Sandy, I am out of town right now, but will contact you when I return with some suggestions as we discussed a little over a week ago. Stay strong my friend, and may God bless you and your family always.
You still amaze me. Even though this is so tough, I can feel your peace as I read. YOU inspire me. We all love you lots!
I am continuing to pray for you and your family.
You are a strong woman of God and a warrior.
Take care of yourself!!!
Hey there….the Pirates aren’t all bad….lol I cannot tell you how many evenings of my growing up years were spent hearing those games on am radio….we didn’t have a television and that is how my Dad would keep up with the sport. He was from Western PA so Pirates were his team.
It is astonishing how quickly things are changing for Curt….and therefore the rest of you. You continue to be in my prayers and I am glad to have updates.
My heart breaks for you. I pray you do find a superb companion for the days. Makes me wish I was a sports loving guy who could just come and hang out and care for your hubby. But, I am not and I’m sure God has just the right person for you. Let us know when you know?
Oh dear Sandy! Cheering for the wrong team?! Have him checked for a UTI 😉
I have realized that no matter how much I read and talk and prepare myself for the next decline, I’m never ready for it, ever. You’re doing a fabulous job handling your days in prayer and understanding.
I once looked into companion care for Hubby , Home Instead, Of course he would have NOTHING to do with it because he didn’t need a “babysitter” I just wanted someone that could take him out for coffee a couple time a week just to give him someone besides me. We never got a chance to try it so I hope Curt is more receptive to the idea.
I love how you educate about dementia. You are SO right, it’s NOT just about losing memories. It’s about losing pieces of your whole being, who and what you are and what you can do. It’s also not easy to share those losses with others. You do it however with such grace and love.
Keeping you all in my daily prayers
Sandy I am lean=ving for Japan aug 25 till sept 17- but I am actualaly writing a book and plan on really concentrating on that when I get home- I a=have cared for many pp in the past- kids , hospice, disabled ect if you end up needing help I would be glad to help you when I can- I could probably even write form your place so dont kick a gift horse if you need me- befor I leave or after I come back I am pretty available most days so girl call me I will help out when I can- I say get a volunteer schedule going- then what you can’t fill pay pp to do- God will provide- He is always faithful- we are just usually too proud to ask and reach out- don’t do that reach out and let others help you- its a privledge and ministry to give as much as it is to recieve. Love ya
sry that spelling is so awful its late and I am tired lol and no spellcheck hahahha
Sandy you are such an inspiration to so many of us. and altho i don’t “know” you in the sense beyond blogging friends, I know that you are a godly woman, with a passion for Christ and your family. You continue to be in my thots and prayers and this week at my small group meeting I am holding a healing service for some of us with physical and emotional issues…..we aren’t even doing our normal teaching!! God has placed your family on my heart so many times that, if it is ok with you, we are going to be interceding for you all this week(thursday evening). God knows the outcome of all this and we wil pray for the person God wants Curt to have. And of course for you too and the kids. Keep us posted, please. and thank you for your honesty…I had no idea this disease manifested in all these different ways. God bless you!!!
I’m praying for a “Dude” like Sid had 🙂 someone who can make Curt smile. I love you all so much! Wish that “Dude” could be me…wish I lived next door.
I’ll add that to my prayer list for you! I am learning so much from you about this disease. Thanks for being so open and sharing with us.
Continuing to pray for you. My heart aches and aches and aches for your family. I know God will provide, but still. It hurts to watch the suffering.
Oh so sad, that happened to my dad too. My mom took him out to Colorado to visit my sister and her family, and he came back totally different and incontinent. I don’t know if its the change of routine that something goes?? I feel so bad for you all, and continue to pray for guidance and wisdom. I can help you if you need to do anything, I helped take care of others.
I’ve been reading regularly even though I don’t think I have commented often. My heart just aches for you. This is hard to watch with parents, but excruciating with a spouse.
My m-i-l doesn’t have Alzheimer’s but does have dementia, and I, too, thought that was just a memory issue. I was surprised it involved a loss of logical thinking and other kinds of mental processing, too.
I do hope and pray God provides just the right daytime companion for your husband and that you’ll continue to find his grace and strength sufficient.
A thought just came to me as I was typing. Have you ever heard the song “I Could Not Do Without Thee?” One of the first times I heard it, I was struck by the many references to being alone, and I was feeling very alone because my husband was traveling a lot then. I can imagine how alone you must feel at times. Maybe this song will be a blessing to you, too:
I could not do without Thee
I cannot stand alone
I have no strength or goodness
No wisdom of my own
But Thou, beloved Savior
Art all in all to me
And weakness will be power
If leaning hard on Thee.
When do you start back to school? We started back yesterday. I can’t believe that summer has come and gone already and fall sports now dominate our schedule. And yet, it’s exciting for the kids.
That’s funny that Curt is watching the Pirates! I’m glad, though, that he still enjoys watching games. Please know that we, too, are praying for you and your family. May God continue to hold your heart in his hand and wrap you in his grace. We’ll pray specifically for that companion, and for the adjustment it will be for Curt.
Missed this post while I was in Germany. Glad I found it and caught up. So sorry things are progressing, but it doesn’t surprise me as it sounds similar to my sister in many respects. I had wondered how long he would be able to be at home alone while you worked.
Sending big hugs. Call me anytime you want to talk.
I continually pray for you and your family. I am sorry things are progressing so fast for Curt. I am sure it is hard and can not imagine what exactly your family is going through, but I know God does and has a great plan for you. You are a great encouragement to your followers and God will bless you. Hang in there – keep your faith
This is so painful to read. I think of you guys often. I still remember my first drum lesson in your basement, and Curt’s tremendous patience with me as I was just starting out. I wish you all better days ahead.