Well it has been a good week at our house…..YES we are adjusting to the new normal. It is hard at times…….I see glimpses of the difficulties that Curt will have down the road. He has such difficulty spelling, and he was always the best speller in the house!! Typing has also become an difficult process for him. Things like that drive home the reality of what is to come. But for now we are focusing on the present.
I heard this quote the other day;
“Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, That’s why it’s called the Present.
That really seems to fit our attitude!
This verse also seems to capture our hope for an unknown future;
Matthew 6:34 says “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (NIV)
We are making the choice to not focus on the worries of tomorrow, sure we are planning for them, but not focusing on them. And as any woman over 40 with wacky hormones and emotions knows that can be difficult at times. 🙂
So back to my story of how did we know something was wrong with Curt. I had started it in this post in case you missed the first post.
After the chaos of a busy baseball season for Tyler, a track season for Madi and the end of the school year for Curt and I….. the dust began to settle and the slower pace of summer evolved! It was a welcome reprieve for us. But it was during the dog days of summer that Curt’s deficiencies became more evident.
We took a memory making trip to Omaha, NE where Tyler played baseball in a tournament and we were able to attend the College World Series Championship games both nights. It was a great trip for Tyler since he aspires to play college baseball!
But as we headed through security at a busy Baltimore airport on the morning of the trip, Curt had trouble. He didn’t take off his belt, didn’t take off his shoes, or take out his money clip. It was like he just didn’t get what to do. He held up the line, made people mad and didn’t really seem to notice the commotion he had caused. But I did. Also on that trip I ended up driving a great deal since he was unfamiliar with the highways in Nebraska and driving proved to be a challenge for him.
Another eye opener to a medical problem was when Curt took my sports minded son to the Dr. to see if he had truly broken his finger while diving for a ball in centerfield during a baseball game. Curt returned from the Dr with the good news that the finger was not broken. Only to find out later that is was broken!
But come August I became increasingly concerned….I attended an in-service with Curt and saw how he had trouble keeping up with what we were learning. I also noticed his once proficient typing skills deteriorating rapidly. He seemed more apathetic and could not accomplish as much around the house as previously. He kept messing up setting his clock radio alarm and had difficulty using the computer. He also had great difficulty learning anything new. Most people would not have been aware of anything, but a wife sees these changes. I then decided to email his Dr. to express my concerns, Curt had an annual physical in late August and I wanted the Dr. to know what I was seeing.
I became more worried, concerned and anxious about him. Soon I began to have great difficulty sleeping at night, and with in 2 weeks time lost 10 lbs, just like that! (So if you are looking for a good weight loss program, anxiety and worry seemed to work pretty well for me!)
So when he talked with his family Dr. in late August and he ordered an array of tests, I was not surprised when his MRI came back fine, and his blood work also came back fine. I just had a sinking feeling all along that dementia/alzheimer’s was what we were dealing with, even with NO family history of it!
When a neuropsychologist confirmed a diagnosis of dementia I was emotionless, I had already come to grips with what was happening to my dear husband! I really thought I would throw up when they told me, but when the moment came, I just thought to myself, ” I knew it, I knew it!”
And on that day Oct. 1st began the first day of living with our new normal.
I will write more later, I have one amazing story to tell of God really providing for us last week!! But alas, I am getting ready to head off to Tyler’s basketball game, and finish some last minute Christmas shopping……yes life with two teens at home….life does go on!