Yesterday was my big day…….no students at school, I was so hoping to get lots of needed paperwork done in my classroom! But I ran into a problem………this was the first time in a very long time I was alone for the day. Alone with my thoughts!
Wow and didn’t those thoughts, emotions, worries, and fears start to take over! I had trouble focusing on the task at hand, I kept getting sidetracked by the worries of this world. And I have plenty to worry about these days, so needless to say it was really pretty easy to get sidetracked!
Pity for me and our situation
Worries for the future, we are applying for social security disability on Monday, what if we are denied?
Missing Curt and the fun loving husband and household leader he once was
Tyler and Madi, how will this affect their lives and future
Oh and I can go on and on, but I will STOP there! I now see why keeping so busy can be a mixed blessing for me. I also realized what I worked through yesterday is NORMAL, and it’s ok……it just hit me unexpectedly, unplanned and unabashed. And I guess that is normal too.
I am by nature a positive person, fiercely independent and a bit feisty at times. 🙂 But I am realizing day by day, to learn to be less INDEPENDENT and more DEPENDENT.
Dependent on GOD!
To truly understand the meaning of 1 Peter 5:7 Cast ALL your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Yep, cast them ALL on Him……hard to do at times, yet it is a journey we are all on. And as with any journey, it takes time and there is much to be learned along the way.
So in some ways my unproductive day was good for me because I was reminded of something much deeper and more powerful then the paperwork at hand!
And as I drove home alone from the grocery store at the end of the day, I heard this song on the radio. It was a good reminder to me of the Greater things that are yet to come!
I haven’t been through exactly your situation, but I think it’s normal to be “attacked” by those kinds of thoughts all at once and to grieve the losses along the way.
After having some physical issues a few years ago, with the possibility of not only having more but possibly worse to come, I really struggled with anxiety. I thought, it’s one thing to be anxious over what might but probably won’t occur (plane crashing, etc,); it’s another thing to be anxious when you have good reason!! I wondered, how do people live with impending medical problems? The answer came — the same way we are all to live — by faith, as you say, continually casting all our cares on Him as they come up. So grateful for His promises.
Try reading 2 Chronicles 20:1-30
1. Declare how big God is.
2. Acknowledge your inadequacy.
3. Realize the battle is not yours but God’s!
Praying for your family. How unbelievable this must still seem to you.
I have this song on my mp3 player. It hits the spot, for sure. Remembering you & your family in my prayers.
I am learning that no matter what situation we face, it always comes down to this………..do we rest in Faith…….do we believe God is abundant, faithful, and true? (Ephesians 3:20-21). Praying for you! I too, am learning to cast all my care on Him, for He cares for me. Hugs.
Praying for you, precious Sandy!
My life verses . . . Proverbs 4:25-27 . . .
Let your eyes look straight ahead,
fix your gaze directly before you.
Make level paths for your feet
and take only ways that are firm.
Do not swerve to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.
Sandy…you all are still in my prayers…and I believe it is NORMAL to have those fears and worries….and YES….bring them ALL to HIM!! which I know you are…but sometimes, we have to just keep bringin’ em….He doesn’t mind us bringing those fears, worries and anxieties over and over to Him….although I’ve not experienced exactly what you are going through, I’ve had times in my life when worry or fears got the best of me…..and I realized I could either stew, or place those burdens in the Hands of the One who can handle them! That is a great song….surround your mind with Him….with worship and praise….and know that your blogging friends are praying!! hugs to you….(and thanks for being real!!)
Rats! I was hoping you weren’t normal! I can’t imagine it all, Sam – but God can – every feeling and thought you have. He will never leave you. You are in my prayers and thoughts sooo much. I love you
We are still there and still praying for you and your family. God Bless!!
Big hugs to you Sandi and lots of prayers for you and Curt and the kids. God is a big God and He doesn’t mind at all when you are “normal” with Him. He’s waiting with mercy and grace ready for you.
May I venture to say that your difficult day was far from productive.
May the love of Christ Jesus through the Holy Spirit…
…..Go before you to lead you,
Behind you to guide you,
Beneath you to uphold you,
Above you to bless you,
About you to protect you,
….and within you to caress you.
Praying for you. We are expecting an Alzheimer’s diagnosis for my father when we return to the neurologist on the 28th. With as difficult as it is dealing with my father at age 83, I can’t image if it were my spouse. I am in a grieving process of the loss of my father while he is still alive. Although there are aspects of his personality that are still the same, his mind has detiorated such that more times than not, I feel like I’m getting to know a new person, and that person changes daily. Helping my mother to deal with these changes and not to be fearful of the present or the future is also difficult. Sometmes I pick up a picture of my father and look at it and just cry. He’s here, but he’s not and I miss him. Praying for you and the kids. This fire won’t burn you are set you abalze. It will test you and refine you though. Praying for wisdom, peace, comfort, good times, patience, joy, and so much more!
Boy can I relate to being caught off guard by my thoughts and emotions. The one thing that gets me through the tears is knowing Jesus is crying along with me and holding me close. That doesn’t mean I don’t get frustrated it just means it doesn’t quite last as long when I lean on Him.