So last Monday was the pits. Our sweet dog of 10 years, Nina, had become rather complacent on Sunday and I was a bit concerned about her when I left for school on Monday. I had made a vet appointment for her the next day.
So as we settled into our Monday evening routine, I was savoring a bit of time to actually cook a real meal (burgers on the grill), and we were all enjoying the warm spring air while eating dinner on the deck. BUT…… Nina soon lumbered onto the deck and began wheezing and throwing up.
So our pleasant evening went down hill real quick. I realized Nina needed to be seen by the Vet. right away. Tyler and I carefully lifted her into the van, and Curt and I ran her down to the vet. The vet examined her, took an x-ray and gave us the bad news. She had a problem of her esophagus that is quite common in old labs. But he also explained that her condition was quite grave. 😦 Thus I made the painful decision to have her move on to doggy heaven that night.
I called the kids, they came down to the vet and we all cried, said our good-byes and then came home. It all happened so fast, it just didn’t seem real. But I had a feeling something was wrong with her for some time now.
And the night continued on a down ward spiral of misery after that. Madi had a paper due the next day she needed to finish, so I took her to a friend’s house who had volunteered to help her with the paper. I was relieved. As I was driving home, Curt called me all upset about something. I really couldn’t understand what he was saying it was not making sense. I told him I would be home real soon.
I arrived home to find him furious! A neighbor boy had come over at 8:00 to watch a TV show, and that triggered a snowball of anger. I actually think everything with Nina triggered it, but he was upset that this kid was coming over at 8:00 at night. I had great difficulty getting him to calm down, at one point I thought he was going to hit me. He was cussing up a storm, which if you know Curt, this is rather comical, I have been married to him for almost 23 years and never heard him cuss. I heard more cuss words explode from him in one night than I have in 23 years! It was not a good situation, Madi needed to be picked up, I ended up asking the kid to leave, and then tried to distract Curt some. That seemed to calm things down a bit so I could leave to get Madi.
I returned to find all was calm and Curt had really forgotten the rage of just a mere 45 min ago.
I then had to put together this stupid queen size bed frame for a new bed that was being delivered the next day. At that point my brain was fried, and those silly, little tiny print directions were not cutting it for me. Somehow, I got the seemingly simple task done by 11:15 and then laid down for a good cry.
And thus the roller coaster we now call life. Tues. and Wed. were calm and normal days. Thurs. was busy and Friday was a VERY, busy, stressful day. Thus the ups and downs of our life.
This past summer while at Hershey Park with the fam, despite my own voice of reason telling me not to ride the Great Bear roller coaster, I did. I decided to tackle my queezy, roller coaster stomach a new way, I would just close my eyes the whole time and then I wouldn’t have to see the going upside down stuff, and my stomach should be able to survive. Well overall I am happy to say this tactic worked fairly well. I rode the Great Bear twice!
So I am thinking I need to apply this tactic to my life these days! Embrace the roller coaster, ride it, and close my eyes and pray LOTS!! 🙂
And I do appreciate many of you who have come along and rode the coaster with me for a day or two. 🙂 Your prayers, support and LOVE sure help me ride this coaster with a smile!
This song has become my mantra……
~ Philippians 4:12 & 13
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty of in want. I can do all this through Him who gives me strength! ~
Oh Sandy, I’m sorry you are on such a roller coaster ride and have such deep dips! I wish we could go have coffee together. Sending you big hugs!
Sandy, PLEASE feel free to call me whenever you need help with anything, or a shoulder to cry on! i am only a few steps away. You can also call me during the weekday if you need me to do anything for you as I have a more flexible schedule. BIG hugs!!
Sandy, I really feel for you, such a load you have to deal with almost everyday. Your dog’s death on top of everything. I remember when you got the dog, it doesn’t seem that long ago. A dog’s death is hard emotionally to deal with, a pet is so much part of the family and it hurts more than
you think it will. Curt was probably releasing the vent in emotion of it all. When our pet’s died it
took a long time to get over, I would see the dog all over the house and yard. It is a sweet memory but a hard one to let go. Life is full of those hills, valleys and the ditches, take time for yourself.
Love to you, Aunt Carol
I would strongly advise you to speak to the doctor about your husband’s rages (even if they only occur ocassionally). You need to get that under control before he hits anyone. Please don’t under-react. Even though it is the disease, it is not your husband, it is still a real and present danger. I would also make sure your local law enforcement knows about your husband’s condition in case they ever need to be called in to help. Be prepared. I know how hard this is! My husband’s biggest challenge is what I call “an inability to cope.” Each little bump in the road is a major ordeal for him, involving incomprehensible meltdowns and angry outbursts. So sad to see in my once competent and intelligent world-class problem solver 😦 You and your family remain in my prayers.
Sandy, my heart goes out to you and your kids. I know the roller coaster ride well, and to have it compounded with the death of your beloved pet makes it even tougher. That probably was part of the trigger for Curt’s outburst. It’s so hard to reason with a person who has AD. My husband has had some similar behaviors, but his is more of a consistent agitation for several hours. I agree with Mary that you should address it with the doctor. It often takes several tries, but so many of the extreme behaviors can be managed with medication. Thank you for sharing all of this and for sharing the song…one I’ve not heard. Pilippians 4:13 has been my favorite scripture since my college days; I just didn’t have a clue how much I would lean on it. Do you read Karen Henley’s blog, Follow Me, Follow You? Her husband just passed from Young Onset AD on February 28th, and they went through the extreme angry outbursts with her husband. She might be able to give you some advice in that area. I’ve been married to my husband for over 30 years, and he is not a curser either. He’s had his moment of it with the AD, though. I found out from attending a seminar with Teepa Snow that when the front temporal lobe becomes damaged, those words are released from that area where forbidden words have been stored for years. Such a complex hideous disease to deal with. Prayers and blessings to you, Sandy.
Kathy (a friend in Texas who knows how you feel!)
Sandy!!!! I’m glad you can write this all out for all of us to read….so we know specific ways to pray! please know that the Got Teens?! moms group at my house twice a month has you and your fam on our prayer list! There are women who keep asking me, “”did she write anything new yet?” 🙂
And like another one of your blogging friends said above…sure wish we could go have a cup of coffee and a big piece of chocolate together! 🙂 I love the song by matthew west…so glad it is ministering to you. Praying for an easier week for you all…..hugs….
Oh Sandy, sending many hugs and prayers your way. So sorry that you hit such a valley is such a short amount of time. Praying things will even out a bit for you this week and that you’ll all experience a supernatural peace.
I’m so sorry about your beloved pet.
I’m so sorry about Nina! And the whole week you had. Please know that I pray for you and the kids especially very often. Sometimes the Lord will bring your teens to mind as I watch my own, and I pray for God’s grace in their lives. It no doubt is incredibly hard and heartbreaking to face what you all do every day. But I am confident that God will use these times in big ways to help others who will walk the same road in the future.
Love the song. I think of you so much. I am praying for you….lifting you and Curt up to our God.
I just stumbled in to your blog off of the street…actually Mary’s Life in a Small Town blog. I have been trying to deal with my husband’s anxiety, which seems to have escalated lately, and then I come upon your journey. I fear. – in the back of my head – that some day I will be walking a similar path to yours. Anyway, prayers for you and your family. And I love that song!
I am sorry to hear about Nina, losing a pet is never easy. Your life is a rollercoaster ride right now but it has to be comforting to know that Jesus is the controller and will guide you through. I keep you and your family in my prayers!