That is the question I hear everywhere I go.
And I often answer, “I don’t know.”
People also ask how last week went, Curt’s first official week being home. To that I respond with one word….”weird.”
It’s all so weird and I don’t knowish…….I know I am not really saying a lot here….but that is the point!
This is all so different, new and surreal at times.
I am the type of person who carries a flashlight, a tape measure, a pocketknife, and clorox wipes in my purse with me. I am always prepared for everything, I plan for things, I think ahead…..BUT having a husband who has Alzheimer’s at age 46 is NOT something I ever planned for, or ever prepared for. That is why I think I respond with I don’t know.
I think overall I am handling all of this well, I have come to ACCEPT this diagnosis. I don’t like it, I don’t understand why it is happening to us….BUT it is what we are dealing with and I refuse to confront it with a negative attitude. But, I have such a mix of emotions that I just don’t know how I am doing….and I think at this point that is pretty normal.
This song by Chris Tomlin keeps coming to mind. And I think it speaks so much of what I am feeling.
There is a PEACE I have come to know….
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There’s an anchor for my soul
I can say “It is well”
Those words seem to be the cry of my heart lately. I am not prepared for this journey we are on….but amidst such difficulties I am amazed at the PEACE I have come to know!! God has truly granted me that peace during the storm of this life, I don’t know how I am doing, but I do know I can stand strong each morning knowing God is with me and granting me peace during my storm!
For those who were wondering, Curt had a busy first week at home, lots of friends called to do things with him. It helped to make a difficult week for him better with so many so dear friends checking in on him. We all dealt with such a range of emotions last week, sometimes they would hit me out of nowhere! But we do cherish your prayers.
I plan to write more this week about how we first started to notice some changes in Curt. So many of you have asked.